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Thread: Humpday Humor for the first of July, 2020...

  1. #1
    Registered Member BamaNomad's Avatar
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    Humpday Humor for the first of July, 2020...

    Thanks again to Everett at Team Camaro...

    Cafeteria Sign
    Sign in a cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria."
    (Then, in pencil beneath the sign): "Socks can eat anyplace they want."

    • What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
    • I always cry at weddings, especially my own.
    • People who say their wedding day was the best day ever have obviously never had two Kit Kats fall out of a vending machine.
    • A hardware store has a sign reading: "Today's special." (Then, below it, in pencil): "So's tomorrow.
    • Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?
      - He was lucky it was a soft drink.
    • Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
    • Taking my husband's last name doesn't mean I'm not a feminist.
      - It means I don't want anyone I went to high school with to be able to find me ever again.
    • What do you call a cow with no legs? -Ground beef.
    • My diet always starts on a Monday morning and ends at the donuts somebody brings into the office later this morning.
    • Anyone who wanted to sell fish had to get permission from Grandpa.
      -He was known as the cod father.
    • The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don't have.
    • I changed my password to "incorrect". ... So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
    • The trouble with learning from experience is you never graduate.
    • I know milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much have you been drinking?
    • A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns 'individuality' is the key to success.
    • One good thing about graduation is you get to wear a funny hat making your brain look larger than it actually is.
    • I'd advise you graduates to keep your graduation gown. It's the only outfit you might not outgrow.
    • How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in their ear.
    • Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? - Because it said "concentrate"!
    • A blonde said, "I was worried my mechanic might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told me all I needed was Turn-Signal Fluid."
    • You can't get on the same page with someone who has a different book.
    • When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
    • My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. - Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!
    • Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months.
    • A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
    • Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
    • You can make a water-bed more bouncy by using spring water.
    • Never marry a woman who was captain of the debate team.


  2. #2
    Administrator 567chevys's Avatar
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    Cute , Made me smile


    Sid

    1955 2 DR Post
    1937 Chevy Coupe
    2019 Ford Suoer Duty F350
    2018 Ford Explorer
    1955 Chevy Nomad

  3. #3
    Registered Member Belair-o's Avatar
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    Hey Bama,
    Loved these - who says you can't teach an old Doug new tricks? Gotta use that password one, fo' sure - no more guessing at passwords!
    Thanks, Doug

  4. #4
    Registered Member BamaNomad's Avatar
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    Doug,

    I'm with you!~ I loved that one too... WHO can remember the passwords for 20-30 different locations and then they want you to use 8-12 letters/numbers/spec characters, etc.. and NOT write them down? and change them every few months? Totally crazy...

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