From: BOB FORD [BOB_FORD@compuserve.com]
Sent: Sunday, March 26, 2000 6:46 PM
To: Blind.Copy.Receiver@compuserve.com
Subject: 57-56-55 CHEVY LIST
THIS IS THE 57-56-55 CHEVY LIST
TO POST SOMETHING ON THIS LIST PLEASE E-MAIL YOUR POST TO
BOB_FORD@COMPUSERVE.COM
THERE IS NO COST TO BECOME A LIST MEMBER AND ONLY LIST MEMBERS ARE
ALLOWED TO POST SOMETHING ON THE LIST. IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE THAT
HAS E-MAIL AND WOULD BENEFIT FROM BEING A LIST MEMBER, ASK THEM TO
JOIN. THE MORE LIST MEMBERS WE HAVE, THE MORE INFORMATION LIST
MEMBERS CAN SHARE WITH EACH OTHER.
THIS 57-56-55 CHEVY LIST IS NOT SENT OUT ON ANY SET SCHEDULE SO IF YOU
WANT TO POST SOMETHING THAT CONTAINS A DATE, PLEASE SEND IT IN EARLY
SO I CAN GET IT OUT TO THE LIST MEMBERS BEFORE THE DATE OF THE EVENT.
I ENCOURAGE ALL LIST MEMBERS TO INCLUDE THEIR CITY AND STATE WITH
THEIR POSTS. IF YOU ARE POSTING SOMETHING FOR SALE PLEASE ALSO
INCLUDE YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND THE PRICE. IT IS HELPFUL TO ALSO
INCLUDE WHEN YOU WILL BE AT YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND YOUR TIME ZONE.
TAKE AS MUCH SPACE AS YOU WANT AND FULLY DESCRIBE WHAT YOU HAVE
FOR SALE.
YOUR COMMENTS ABOUT THIS LIST ARE WELCOME.
IF YOU WANT TO SEND ME E-MAIL THAT YOU DO NOT WANT ON THE LIST
PLEASE PUT "PRIVATE NOT FOR THE LIST' AS THE SUBJECT.
THANKS
BOB FORD
EDITOR
__________________________________________________ ____________________
To: [unknown], BOB_FORD
From: INTERNET:OLDCARS55@aol.com, INTERNET:OLDCARS55@aol.com
Bob,
My personal preference for this list is to share information specifically
about the vehicles in question. There is so much I have to learn about
these
cars.
In this regard, one of the most disturbing aspects of driving a vintage
Chevy
of this period to me has become the horn bushing bearing assembly which is
nestled inside the top of the mast jacket surrounding the steering column.
It is easy to understand why for those who are not of a "purest" bent,
steering column assemblies are among the first pieces to go if a car is
going
to be altered -- particularly if the restoration has power steering.
Last year sometime, I purchased an old '56 cluster assembly from a local
man
who restores primarily '57 Chevys. I needed the part which contained the
direction signal detents with the rubber pieces that turn the signals off.
Inside, I noticed a horn-bearing- bushing assembly which was apparently an
original, factory unit which had a large, black bakelite or hard plastic
casing in which the other parts were assembled. After repeated attempts, I
could not seem to remove the old part from the rest of the assembly without
destroying the entire thing. After I got it out I tried to solder the wire
back on but it was beyond repair.
Since 1993 when I first got this car, I must have replaced this part in my
steering column about six times. The new DANCHUK reproduction parts are
junk. Invariably, the races of the bearings in the top of the assembly wear
through (they are made of some very thin, soft metal) and you end up with
little ball bearings floating around the bottom of the shroud in which the
shifter shaft fits.
Also, my most recent beef regards the brass washer on the top which
functions
as a contact point for the horn button. Fine brass filings which wear off
of
the brass contact get mixed with grease in the bearings and cause the whole
thing to short out causing the horn to blow uncontrollably and sometimes it
stinks as if something was on fire. I finally disconnected the green wire
which plugs into the under-dash wiring harness after this happened with a
policeman in close proximity -- I almost ran a red light! Now I am driving
without a horn.
My question is -- does anybody make a better repro part that will last more
than about six months? Might anybody along the list have a NOS original
part that would last a little longer than this DANCHUK junk?
By the way, I found a new float for one of my Rochester BC carburators --
my
dear friend Willard Kelley up in Boonville, IN installed the float, a new
spring for the automatic choke and did not charge me a penny! It really
helps when old car enthusiasts stick together and help one another out!
David Scott Coker
oldcars55@aol.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
To: "'BOB FORD'", BOB_FORD
From: "Francis, Roger D, SITS", INTERNET:rdfrancis@att.com
Bob (and the list...)
I have a dilemma... I recently purchased a 56 Chevy Suburban
sight-unseen
from Kansas and had it shipped to my home in Orlando. My intention was to
build a nice street vehicle to tow my Nomad to long-distance car shows (I
always drive it to shows less than 100 miles...). Anyway, when it gets
here... I see that is an x-military vehicle and still has the military
markings and data-plate on the dash. A friend is a Major in the Army and he
checked the data plate and found that it has some historical significance.
The Army keeps very detailed logs of all vehicles and I know what this was
used for every day of the week from 1956 through 1972 when is was auctioned
as surplus. This was used as a staff vehicle for General Douglas MacArthur
when he was at Fort Reilly Kansas (Home of 1st army...) It was also the
Adjutant Generals vehicle as well. It is completely original down to the
stencil marking on the dash that has the government purchase price and
serial #. Here is my problem..... Do I restore it back to Army condition
and save it for History.... or put the 383, 700R4, 4 wheel disc, AC, PW, PS
etc..etc..etc. I know this is a personal issue... but I would like to hear
from people on the list.....
Thanks,
Roger Francis
rdfrancis@att.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------
To: BOB FORD, BOB_FORD
From: INTERNET:kfmartel@collins.rockwell.com,
INTERNET:kfmartel@collins.rockwell.com
>>>Can some one explain the painting process where the car change colors as
you view it from different angles.
Is is a costly process?<<<
Bob,
AS it was explained to me at Laughlin last week end the paint has
microscopic prisms in it that separate the color spectrum like a rainbow.
A 55 Chevy at Laughlin was painted that way and the owner said the paint
cost $250.00 per gallon and he had $10,000.00 worth of the paint in the
car. When I walked around that car I saw colors from gold to green to
purple to I don't know how many other colors. Ask Jerry Mull when you see
him and he'll tell you all about it. This car took 6 different prizes from
best paint(of course) to best of show. Also, the owner said that had he not
painted the car himself (he owns a body shop) that the paint job would have
cost $25,000.00.
Kim
PS - My car got second place in the original class!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
To: "'BOB FORD'", BOB_FORD
From: "Francis, Roger D, SITS", INTERNET:rdfrancis@att.com
Bob....
In response to the 1956 Belair 9 Passenger Beauville info.... I have a 56
Nomad and a 56 Beauville. I have been told by many people that the
Beauville
is more rare for several reasons. If you look at the production numbers for
56, the Nomad, deliver and Beauville have the shortest runs (excluding the
Corvette....). The delivery and Nomads are in the "collector" category now
and most people who own them would be hard-pressed to part with them. The
Beauville however, was considered a family car rather than a collector or
specialty car. They also weighed more than any other 56 model so they
brought more money when they were sold for scrap. What a shame... Mine is
100% original with a 265 and PG. It also has the 3rd seat intact (most were
removed and lost over time....). Although it still needs a complete
restoration after sitting for many years.... it does run and drive. Beside
the Nomad (which sits in the garage between the Beauville and the 56
Suburban....) I think the Belair Beauville has the best looking profile
for
the 56 model year. My opinion.....
Roger Francis
rdfrancis@att.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------
To: BOB FORD, BOB_FORD
From: Louis, INTERNET:lou1@primenet.com
am selling a 3 piece front bumper on ebay for '57 chevy.
item 290142162
by the way there is a great wax i tried recently called 'protect all'.
it's not armor-all. not sure if it's sold all over but it's easy to use
and works on paint, chrome, interior dash, etc. Uses Carnauba wax.
another good one i tried is called Vitreo. it's a polymer type and i put
that on a chrome piece to test it. made a big difference.
don't ever put that 'blechley tire cleaner' stuff on chrome. supposedly it
can wear it out.
louis
================================================== =====================
email: lou1@primenet.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------
To: BOB FORD, BOB_FORD
From: Louis, INTERNET:lou1@primenet.com
bob
the paint you refer to is one of the newer technologies. basically they
put pigment in the paint that reflects light in different ways and angles.
so depending on your angle you will see a different shade of color. i
imagine it is costly.
by the way, NAPA sells duplicolor spray paints. Duplicolor has most of the
55 - 57 colors available. if you know the right part no. Napa can order
the right color for you. For example, Duplicolor will tell you that part
no. xxxx means Tropical Turquoise. You can then ask for this part no. at a
local Napa store.
louis
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------
To: BOB FORD, BOB_FORD
From: Louis, INTERNET:lou1@primenet.com
Not only is there a difference with the doors and post but also the
hard-top roof slopes downward more. That is, it has a more sporty look and
less 'boxy'.
The rear quarter panel insert is in one piece on te HT, 2 pieces on the
4 doors. so you see a line running through it on the 4 dr.
Some say you get a more steady or solid ride with a 4 dr. sedan.
The doors are shorter and therefore they shut with a more distinctive
sound - what i call a 'mercedes'-like or bmw kind of sound. With a 2 door
it's longer so there may not be the same kind of sound. The rear fenders
are shorter - less sheet metal - on a 2 door so if you rap it you wont see
it shake on a 4 door. At least it was true on mine.
Perhaps others can come up with some other differences between a 4 and 2
door? How did the ride differ?
Louis
> From: "McNulty, Bob", INTERNET:BMCNULTY@csuchico.edu
>
> Ok maybe a dumb question but.....
>
> What is the visual difference between a sedan and a hardtop. Is the
sedan
> just a two door and a hardtop the 4 door? What about a sport coupe?
> Fortunately I can recognize a convertible
>
> Thanks from a newbie
>
> Bob
> bmcnulty@csuchico.edu
>
> Editor's note. I think the term hardtop refers to a car without a post
> behind the front window. List members is that correct?
> BOB
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
To: [unknown], BOB_FORD
From: INTERNET:Fphelps@ix.netcom.com, INTERNET:Fphelps@ix.netcom.com
I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&Ms (sent
to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people, celebrating
the fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals), when I ran into a
friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been
served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken (which is
predictable, since as everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in
Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government made them change
their name to KFC).
Anyway, this same guys second cousin went to sleep and
when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore
all over and when he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEY HAD
BEEN
STOLEN. He saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid
to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a
virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-
mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself
was a computer programmer who was working on software to prevent a global
disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $250.00
Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true
-
I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was
also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would
forward
the e-mail to everyone I know.)
The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing
kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90, which
unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone
line at the guy's expense. Then reaching into the coin-return slot he got
jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that
said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from
the hospital - the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the
one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and
the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail
he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of Xs and
Os
in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10
people, you will have good luck, but for 10 people only you will only have
OK luck and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK
FOR SEVEN YEARS). So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the
hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving without its lights
on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as
part of a gang initiation.
Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail
and you will receive 4 green M&Ms - if you don't, the owner of Proctor and
Gamble will report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more
bad luck: you will get sick from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your
shampoo,
you will develop cancer a skin rash from using the antiperspirant which
clogs the pores under your arms, and the U.S. government will tax your
e-mails forever.
I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the Internet.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
end of 57-56-55 CHEVY LIST
BOB FORD
18091 MARK CIRCLE
VILLA PARK, CALIFORNIA 92861-2648
BOB_FORD@COMPUSERVE.COM
VOICE 714-637-8877
FAX 714-637-2955
Editor of the 57-56-55 CHEVY LIST and TURBOGLIDE REGISTRY
Sent: Sunday, March 26, 2000 6:46 PM
To: Blind.Copy.Receiver@compuserve.com
Subject: 57-56-55 CHEVY LIST
THIS IS THE 57-56-55 CHEVY LIST
TO POST SOMETHING ON THIS LIST PLEASE E-MAIL YOUR POST TO
BOB_FORD@COMPUSERVE.COM
THERE IS NO COST TO BECOME A LIST MEMBER AND ONLY LIST MEMBERS ARE
ALLOWED TO POST SOMETHING ON THE LIST. IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE THAT
HAS E-MAIL AND WOULD BENEFIT FROM BEING A LIST MEMBER, ASK THEM TO
JOIN. THE MORE LIST MEMBERS WE HAVE, THE MORE INFORMATION LIST
MEMBERS CAN SHARE WITH EACH OTHER.
THIS 57-56-55 CHEVY LIST IS NOT SENT OUT ON ANY SET SCHEDULE SO IF YOU
WANT TO POST SOMETHING THAT CONTAINS A DATE, PLEASE SEND IT IN EARLY
SO I CAN GET IT OUT TO THE LIST MEMBERS BEFORE THE DATE OF THE EVENT.
I ENCOURAGE ALL LIST MEMBERS TO INCLUDE THEIR CITY AND STATE WITH
THEIR POSTS. IF YOU ARE POSTING SOMETHING FOR SALE PLEASE ALSO
INCLUDE YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND THE PRICE. IT IS HELPFUL TO ALSO
INCLUDE WHEN YOU WILL BE AT YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND YOUR TIME ZONE.
TAKE AS MUCH SPACE AS YOU WANT AND FULLY DESCRIBE WHAT YOU HAVE
FOR SALE.
YOUR COMMENTS ABOUT THIS LIST ARE WELCOME.
IF YOU WANT TO SEND ME E-MAIL THAT YOU DO NOT WANT ON THE LIST
PLEASE PUT "PRIVATE NOT FOR THE LIST' AS THE SUBJECT.
THANKS
BOB FORD
EDITOR
__________________________________________________ ____________________
To: [unknown], BOB_FORD
From: INTERNET:OLDCARS55@aol.com, INTERNET:OLDCARS55@aol.com
Bob,
My personal preference for this list is to share information specifically
about the vehicles in question. There is so much I have to learn about
these
cars.
In this regard, one of the most disturbing aspects of driving a vintage
Chevy
of this period to me has become the horn bushing bearing assembly which is
nestled inside the top of the mast jacket surrounding the steering column.
It is easy to understand why for those who are not of a "purest" bent,
steering column assemblies are among the first pieces to go if a car is
going
to be altered -- particularly if the restoration has power steering.
Last year sometime, I purchased an old '56 cluster assembly from a local
man
who restores primarily '57 Chevys. I needed the part which contained the
direction signal detents with the rubber pieces that turn the signals off.
Inside, I noticed a horn-bearing- bushing assembly which was apparently an
original, factory unit which had a large, black bakelite or hard plastic
casing in which the other parts were assembled. After repeated attempts, I
could not seem to remove the old part from the rest of the assembly without
destroying the entire thing. After I got it out I tried to solder the wire
back on but it was beyond repair.
Since 1993 when I first got this car, I must have replaced this part in my
steering column about six times. The new DANCHUK reproduction parts are
junk. Invariably, the races of the bearings in the top of the assembly wear
through (they are made of some very thin, soft metal) and you end up with
little ball bearings floating around the bottom of the shroud in which the
shifter shaft fits.
Also, my most recent beef regards the brass washer on the top which
functions
as a contact point for the horn button. Fine brass filings which wear off
of
the brass contact get mixed with grease in the bearings and cause the whole
thing to short out causing the horn to blow uncontrollably and sometimes it
stinks as if something was on fire. I finally disconnected the green wire
which plugs into the under-dash wiring harness after this happened with a
policeman in close proximity -- I almost ran a red light! Now I am driving
without a horn.
My question is -- does anybody make a better repro part that will last more
than about six months? Might anybody along the list have a NOS original
part that would last a little longer than this DANCHUK junk?
By the way, I found a new float for one of my Rochester BC carburators --
my
dear friend Willard Kelley up in Boonville, IN installed the float, a new
spring for the automatic choke and did not charge me a penny! It really
helps when old car enthusiasts stick together and help one another out!
David Scott Coker
oldcars55@aol.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
To: "'BOB FORD'", BOB_FORD
From: "Francis, Roger D, SITS", INTERNET:rdfrancis@att.com
Bob (and the list...)
I have a dilemma... I recently purchased a 56 Chevy Suburban
sight-unseen
from Kansas and had it shipped to my home in Orlando. My intention was to
build a nice street vehicle to tow my Nomad to long-distance car shows (I
always drive it to shows less than 100 miles...). Anyway, when it gets
here... I see that is an x-military vehicle and still has the military
markings and data-plate on the dash. A friend is a Major in the Army and he
checked the data plate and found that it has some historical significance.
The Army keeps very detailed logs of all vehicles and I know what this was
used for every day of the week from 1956 through 1972 when is was auctioned
as surplus. This was used as a staff vehicle for General Douglas MacArthur
when he was at Fort Reilly Kansas (Home of 1st army...) It was also the
Adjutant Generals vehicle as well. It is completely original down to the
stencil marking on the dash that has the government purchase price and
serial #. Here is my problem..... Do I restore it back to Army condition
and save it for History.... or put the 383, 700R4, 4 wheel disc, AC, PW, PS
etc..etc..etc. I know this is a personal issue... but I would like to hear
from people on the list.....
Thanks,
Roger Francis
rdfrancis@att.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------
To: BOB FORD, BOB_FORD
From: INTERNET:kfmartel@collins.rockwell.com,
INTERNET:kfmartel@collins.rockwell.com
>>>Can some one explain the painting process where the car change colors as
you view it from different angles.
Is is a costly process?<<<
Bob,
AS it was explained to me at Laughlin last week end the paint has
microscopic prisms in it that separate the color spectrum like a rainbow.
A 55 Chevy at Laughlin was painted that way and the owner said the paint
cost $250.00 per gallon and he had $10,000.00 worth of the paint in the
car. When I walked around that car I saw colors from gold to green to
purple to I don't know how many other colors. Ask Jerry Mull when you see
him and he'll tell you all about it. This car took 6 different prizes from
best paint(of course) to best of show. Also, the owner said that had he not
painted the car himself (he owns a body shop) that the paint job would have
cost $25,000.00.
Kim
PS - My car got second place in the original class!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
To: "'BOB FORD'", BOB_FORD
From: "Francis, Roger D, SITS", INTERNET:rdfrancis@att.com
Bob....
In response to the 1956 Belair 9 Passenger Beauville info.... I have a 56
Nomad and a 56 Beauville. I have been told by many people that the
Beauville
is more rare for several reasons. If you look at the production numbers for
56, the Nomad, deliver and Beauville have the shortest runs (excluding the
Corvette....). The delivery and Nomads are in the "collector" category now
and most people who own them would be hard-pressed to part with them. The
Beauville however, was considered a family car rather than a collector or
specialty car. They also weighed more than any other 56 model so they
brought more money when they were sold for scrap. What a shame... Mine is
100% original with a 265 and PG. It also has the 3rd seat intact (most were
removed and lost over time....). Although it still needs a complete
restoration after sitting for many years.... it does run and drive. Beside
the Nomad (which sits in the garage between the Beauville and the 56
Suburban....) I think the Belair Beauville has the best looking profile
for
the 56 model year. My opinion.....
Roger Francis
rdfrancis@att.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------
To: BOB FORD, BOB_FORD
From: Louis, INTERNET:lou1@primenet.com
am selling a 3 piece front bumper on ebay for '57 chevy.
item 290142162
by the way there is a great wax i tried recently called 'protect all'.
it's not armor-all. not sure if it's sold all over but it's easy to use
and works on paint, chrome, interior dash, etc. Uses Carnauba wax.
another good one i tried is called Vitreo. it's a polymer type and i put
that on a chrome piece to test it. made a big difference.
don't ever put that 'blechley tire cleaner' stuff on chrome. supposedly it
can wear it out.
louis
================================================== =====================
email: lou1@primenet.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------
To: BOB FORD, BOB_FORD
From: Louis, INTERNET:lou1@primenet.com
bob
the paint you refer to is one of the newer technologies. basically they
put pigment in the paint that reflects light in different ways and angles.
so depending on your angle you will see a different shade of color. i
imagine it is costly.
by the way, NAPA sells duplicolor spray paints. Duplicolor has most of the
55 - 57 colors available. if you know the right part no. Napa can order
the right color for you. For example, Duplicolor will tell you that part
no. xxxx means Tropical Turquoise. You can then ask for this part no. at a
local Napa store.
louis
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------
To: BOB FORD, BOB_FORD
From: Louis, INTERNET:lou1@primenet.com
Not only is there a difference with the doors and post but also the
hard-top roof slopes downward more. That is, it has a more sporty look and
less 'boxy'.
The rear quarter panel insert is in one piece on te HT, 2 pieces on the
4 doors. so you see a line running through it on the 4 dr.
Some say you get a more steady or solid ride with a 4 dr. sedan.
The doors are shorter and therefore they shut with a more distinctive
sound - what i call a 'mercedes'-like or bmw kind of sound. With a 2 door
it's longer so there may not be the same kind of sound. The rear fenders
are shorter - less sheet metal - on a 2 door so if you rap it you wont see
it shake on a 4 door. At least it was true on mine.
Perhaps others can come up with some other differences between a 4 and 2
door? How did the ride differ?
Louis
> From: "McNulty, Bob", INTERNET:BMCNULTY@csuchico.edu
>
> Ok maybe a dumb question but.....
>
> What is the visual difference between a sedan and a hardtop. Is the
sedan
> just a two door and a hardtop the 4 door? What about a sport coupe?
> Fortunately I can recognize a convertible
>
> Thanks from a newbie
>
> Bob
> bmcnulty@csuchico.edu
>
> Editor's note. I think the term hardtop refers to a car without a post
> behind the front window. List members is that correct?
> BOB
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
To: [unknown], BOB_FORD
From: INTERNET:Fphelps@ix.netcom.com, INTERNET:Fphelps@ix.netcom.com
I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&Ms (sent
to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people, celebrating
the fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals), when I ran into a
friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been
served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken (which is
predictable, since as everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in
Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government made them change
their name to KFC).
Anyway, this same guys second cousin went to sleep and
when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore
all over and when he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEY HAD
BEEN
STOLEN. He saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid
to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a
virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-
mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself
was a computer programmer who was working on software to prevent a global
disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $250.00
Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true
-
I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was
also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would
forward
the e-mail to everyone I know.)
The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing
kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90, which
unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone
line at the guy's expense. Then reaching into the coin-return slot he got
jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that
said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from
the hospital - the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the
one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and
the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail
he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of Xs and
Os
in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10
people, you will have good luck, but for 10 people only you will only have
OK luck and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK
FOR SEVEN YEARS). So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the
hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving without its lights
on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as
part of a gang initiation.
Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail
and you will receive 4 green M&Ms - if you don't, the owner of Proctor and
Gamble will report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more
bad luck: you will get sick from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your
shampoo,
you will develop cancer a skin rash from using the antiperspirant which
clogs the pores under your arms, and the U.S. government will tax your
e-mails forever.
I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the Internet.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
end of 57-56-55 CHEVY LIST
BOB FORD
18091 MARK CIRCLE
VILLA PARK, CALIFORNIA 92861-2648
BOB_FORD@COMPUSERVE.COM
VOICE 714-637-8877
FAX 714-637-2955
Editor of the 57-56-55 CHEVY LIST and TURBOGLIDE REGISTRY