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Thread: Humpday Humor for a NON-humpday! :)

  1. #1
    Registered Member BamaNomad's Avatar
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    Humpday Humor for a NON-humpday! :)

    Yes, I KNOW this isn't 'humpday' (Wednesday), and it's not 2016 either when this was first posted on another site, but when I just read it, I was cracking up... and I thought you folks might enjoy it as well.. Always good to begin a Saturday with a GOOD LAUGH!~

    23 ADULT TRUTHS

    1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
    2. Nothing sucks more than the moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
    3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
    4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
    5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
    6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
    7. Map Quest or Google Maps really need to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
    8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
    9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
    10. Bad decisions make good stories.
    11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
    12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection... again.
    13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report I swear I did not make any changes to.
    14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
    15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
    16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.
    17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
    18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
    19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
    20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
    21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Jeans? Jeans never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
    22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
    23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.
    This means it only took 100 years for men to realize their brain is also important.

    (Ladies ... Quit Laughing! )
    It just gets better as you get older, doesn't it?

    I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized I desperately needed to fart.
    The place was packed, but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my farts to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel much better.
    I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me. I suddenly remembered I was listening to my Ipod (with ear piece) - and how was your day?

    (This is what happens when old people start using technology!)

    Stop laughing and go ahead and forward this - (you know you want to)
    I Would Like To Add One.
    At What Point-In-Life Do We Become "OLD PEOPLE "?

  2. #2
    Registered Member Belair-o's Avatar
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    Oh man! Those were great! Thanks for posting!

  3. #3
    Registered Member carls 56's Avatar
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    put a smile on my face, thanks Gary.
    ARMY NAM VET, very proud!

    56 210 4dr

    drive and enjoy them while you work on them, life is to short.

  4. #4
    Registered Member enigma57's Avatar
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    Thanks for posting, Gary! I needed a good laugh! Only part I didn't get was about the Ipod thingie. I have no idea what that is. Something to do with 'smart phones' perhaps?

    Best regards to all,

    Harry
    'G-d Bless The U.S.A.'...... Lee Greenwood......

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_5aoptI5j0

    Staff Sergeant Roy Benavidez......

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3nncd4sxaM&t=466s

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